So I really don't care.

I REALLY don't. If what I say on this blog bothers you, don't read it, okay? I won't be offended, I won't have a problem with this. It's not a PRIVATE journal, it's just for me to rant about what I want, what makes me insecure, what I want to change, what I want to improve on and if you're not okay with it being public you can just get over it. I have it open so people can read it if they want to, and if there are things I don't want just any ol' person to see, they won't be posted here. I feel that some of my blogs have important messages to pass on and yeah, some are very honest about how I feel about my weight, and if that hurts anyone's self-esteem, I wholeheartedly apologize. It was for me to get something that's been bothering me off my chest, not to hurt anybody.
I want to be able to use this blog to talk whenever I want about any and all topics. Once again, if you disagree with my POV on a certain subject, you are welcome to voice it. Saying that I'm hurting people by saying what I say, or discussing the things I talk about is honestly just uncool. You're happy with the way you are or the way you see certain things, GREAT. Not that many people read my blog anyway, but find someone who is really hurt to the extent where they start questioning themselves, then come talk to me.

Sorry to sound like a bitch, but this is a place where I'm willing to be 100% brutally honest. If you can't deal, get lost.

xoxo.
sophie out.

up and running(and how I should be doing just that)

My computer is finally working again and I cannot honestly express how excited I am to not have to go out to the cold dirty office where my dad's computer is to check my email, answer formspring questions, etc. I'm having wayyyyyyy to much fun with this, I won't lie.

ANYWAY..the past few days have been..interesting..to say the least. I realized fairly recently that my boobs have been getting better, my boyfriend made a point to ask before anything else if I'm pregnant, which is DEFINITELY not the case. I weighed myself and realized that I've gained about 10 pounds in the past few weeks and thought that doesn't seem like much to a lot of people, I was absolutely mortified. Devin came over a few nights ago and I made him dinner. He only ate a tiny bit of his serving and I was starving, so I ended up eating both our plates of food. We were sitting on the couch and he just looks at me and goes "You're tummy looks very full." I know now as I did then, that he meant nothing by it, but it still stung. I don't want to get back to the weight I was when I was a junior in high school, at the height of absolutely HATING anything and everything about myself. I'm only at 135 right now, but with my eating habits I'll be back at 155 in no time and I really DO NOT want that to happen. SO, as soon as the weather starts to get nicer, I'll be out and about, taking long walks all over town EVERY DAY, or going to Sami's house and riding her stationary bike for an hour and hopefully see improvement. I'm going to work on slowly weeding all this junk out of my diet and start eating better.

I'm gonna need a walking buddy, for the days I don't feel like walking solo. Any takers?

okay so, be smart, be silly, start exercising, walk, hike, bike, dance with your friends, get out and do something, pass up the giant slab of cake for something a little less fattening, like watermelon or all natural fruit popsickles. Tell someone what your plan is so they can help you stick with it. Oh and kiss someone, tell them you love them and that you'll never let them go.

happy tuesday!

xoxo.

sophie out.

Sun,pictures,naughty school girls, ruffle panties and chinese food.

That's pretty much the short but sweet explanation of my day. I had planned to hang out with Wispra and Christopher and do a photo shoot YESTERDAY, but my cousins from Ashland were coming through town on they're way back home after visiting their dad's girlfriend in Portland, so we postponed hanging out until today. I woke up this morning to a frantic message on my cell from one of my best friends and called her back, telling her to come over, that I would do my best to cheer her up. We ended up eating Oreos (yes I had Oreos and milk for breakfast. SUE ME) and watched videos of me when I was 2.5 that I knew would make her laugh. After she felt better she went on her merry way and I headed down to Wispra's house to get the day started. We put on naughty schoolgirl outfits, then trooped out to Christopher's car and drove to my old elementary school to use it's baseball field and front entry as backdrops. It was a blast, but Wip got a bit uncomfortable with the fact that there were impressionable young children nearby with their parents, so we went back to the house, changed into something more spring-like and appropriate and went over to tugman park to take spring-themed pictures. BLASTORAMA. Yes it was. I kept flashing my purple ruffle panties at people, the dress was short, I couldn't help it. After we got done with laying on bridge railings climbing onto rocks in the creek and swinging on swings and teeter tottering, and merri-go-rounding, we went to Maple garden and got yummy delicious chinese food. They got my order wrong at first, which was stupid, but it only took a few minutes to correct the blunder. Christopher made the decision that he was going to expose us to Pulp Fiction, which was FUCKING AMAZING. I WANT TO WATCH IT AGAIN. Then we all cuddled and mom told me I HAD to come home if I plan on seeing my boyfriend tomorrow. *sigh*

ANYWAY.yeah that wasn't super interesting, I know. I just wanted to drop a paragraph to overview how nice the day was, enjoying the sun and the wonderful people I have in my life.

in conclusion, enjoy the sun. Walk around shirtless, or in a very short dress with ruffle panties underneath. Have crazy, wild PASSIONATE sex and tell someone you love them and just how much they mean to you. Pet a cute dog or stand on a wobbly rock in the middle of an ice cold creek, it's fun. I dare you.


OH! and go check out my flickr stream:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/esophied823/

ASK me questions:
http://www.formspring.me/lifeonelesdee

&
WISH me and Devin a happy third lunaversary!!!


xoxo

sophie out.