i'm free..what now?

As of  tuesday at about 3:30 in the afternoon, the court related part of my life has come to an end. RS was sentenced to 20 years, 14 if he behaves himself. Kaia and Devin spent the day with me, being wonderfully caring and supportive and showing me so much love. After spending the morning not knowing whether I would testify or not, my dad came rushing into the room at 3:00, and pulled me into a tight hug saying only "He took the deal," before breaking down. We went to RS's sentencing then, and sat directly behind him, four rows back..He kept looking at Devin,who I thought would kill him, from the look in his eyes. Knowing that someone loves you so much that they're shaking in an attempt to restrain themselves from jumping over the rows to kill the bastard who made your life miserable for 14 months...that's a very eye opening and heartwarming feeling. He sat by me while they read all of the charges, and then when the ADA told the story again, every detail from beginning to end, he held me tight, as did Kaia. I have the best friends anyone could ask for, even the friends who weren't there, or who didn't know the whole story were as supportive as they could be and that meant the WORLD to me. After the sentencing was over we were all out in front of the courtroom, having a bit of a powwow and celebrating. Devin kept cracking jokes about how hopefully he would drop the soap. "You get the ropeless soap" hahaha.he is the most amazing boy EVER. But anyway, We went back to my house and relaxed for a while before my parents drove us all to Mazzi's for dinner and we partook in one of the most amazing meals I've had in about a million years. After that we took Kaia back to her place :( and Devin and I hung out at home..My parents were to tired to take him home, so WEEEEEEEEEEEE he got to stay another night at my house.:D We watched tv for a while and then since wednesday was our anniversary...Long story short, some shit went down..The next day we pretty much booked it to PP and then got what we needed and got lunch to celebrate(mmmmm mickey's), then proceeded to spend the rest of the day at his apartment. In short, I LOVE my boyfriend. I'm the luckiest girl on the planet.
:D

anyway, goals for this week.
GET THE JOB AT REGAL(interview tuesday!)
spend as much time with Kaia, Sami, Devin and anyone else i can get time with.
go next door and hang out with my baby cousin
figure out how to restart my life and get a move on with being normal again
get douche-y people out of my life. ugh


till next time, show someone how much you love them. Draw a picture, write a song, buy them flowers, take them out..good luck <3

sophie out

Social Butterfly

For as long as I can remember, I've had people telling me that I am quite the social butterfly. When I was two years old I would climb from lap to lap to lap, snuggling with people, entertaining them and pouring out the charm. Having always been a flirt and seeing as I had my first crush at eight months (every time he would come over I would yell from my blanket on the floor "MIKE!MIKE!MIKE!" until he came to see me and carry me around with him) it's not all that much of a suprise that i got myself into the situation I've ended up in. I never realize that i'm flirting or that people are becoming attached to me and it seems more often than not to cause a conflict. The fact that I'm a subconcious flirt seems to be too much for some people. I usually just see it as being nice but apparently to everyone else, I do not come across as such. Situations like this have lead people to calling me a slut a whore and a cheating, man-stealing bitch, or have gotten a boyfriend to break up with me, because I was being myself. Most of the guys that caused these issues weren't even the least bit intriguing. The worst of all though is when being myself brought me into a potentially life threatening situation that lasted nearly a year. Yes, it was mostly this man's fault for getting a minor into a position where she felt that there were no options but to do as he wished, and that he threatened to hurt her family and her, by telling them what she had been involved in during the past months. But, at the same time, I made him want ME, I was a fun, happy go lucky 17 year old girl, excited to graduate, turn 18 and explore the amazing, beautiful, vibrant world outside the walls of the room i'd occupied for most of my life, outside the city limits, outside this state, this continent. He used that against me, but I also used him. I pretended at points to feel ways that I did not feel, because I thought that if I were honest with him, he would come to my house, to hurt me and my family or that if I went to my parents, they would hate me and look at me in disgust and outrage. Finally, not because I made it end, but because HE put me into a situation where I was forced to tell my parents what was going on, the abuse ended. Through his own retarded misstep, I was saved. My parents never turned on me as I had expected, but instead banded with me to take him down. Court starts in 3 days. Three terrifyingly short days. Through this whole experience I have learned that it is alright to be a social butterfly, but at a point it becomes a dangerous game. I have spent the last weeks spending as much time with my best friends and my boyfriend as I possibly could, rebuilding bonds and strengthening the ones that have stayed intact. My friends, my family, they are the network of a social butterfly, the nectar that keeps her healthy, that keeps her wings flapping and bright. Men like the one who used me, he is the water that the bad seed neighbor kid dumps from his cup onto the poor butterfly's wings, making it impossible for her to fly to safety before he can pluck off her wings. They are the nectar this butterfly has needed to get her wings back. They are my lifeblood, my reasons for keeping going. And now, thanks to them, this butterfly is ready to spread her wings once again and take off into the wild blue yonder.
Have a great night, tell someone who has helped you, how much they have meant to you, tell someone you love them, and give someone a hug. Sweet dreams, and until next time....

sophie out